Is Masturbation OK?

Dear Dr. Patti:
I know that masturbation is a private activity. I would like to know is masturbation a good idea? I am a single male in my 30’s and don’t have much else going on. How often should I masturbate to be normal? Right now I do it alone about three times a week. Am I a pervert?
Handy Man

Dear Handyman:

Let’s get something clear: what’s normal varies for each person. Each of us has a “sexual print,” just like a fingerprint, that is defined by our unique desires, sexual styles and physical patterns. Forget about this pervert stuff. Masturbation is only a problem when we feel a driven need to do it. Then psychotherapy or a sex therapy specialty is in order to help with a compulsive behavior disorder such as at the Institute for Sexual Health, where they specialize in the treatment of sexual compulsive behaviors. Recent studies have shown that up to nine in ten males and up to six in ten females use masturbation as a form of sexual expression; 55% of men and 38% of women masturbate on a regular basis, whether it’s daily or monthly. Ironically, what we need is for people to masturbate more so they may have a better sexual experience alone or with a partner. And for men, studies have shown that masturbating is good for your prostate! For my clients I recommend a self-pleasure night at least once a week. Masturbation feels good, produces a sense of well-being in the body, and can be a healthy release from the daily stresses, tensions and frustrations of life. What’s more, masturbation is the foundation upon which all partnered sex is built we can’t rely on others for our sexual fulfillment before we know for ourselves how our own bodies work. So, think about your self pleasure solo bouts as practice or training sessions. And, if you really do want to explore reaching out to someone else for that touch on your penis, other than your own right or left palm, get some good sex coaching or relationship guidance for how to meet that special someone in your life. Until then, happy wanking off!

Love and Light,
Dr. Patti

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