Skip to content

Feeling Undesired at Home: A Sex Coach’s Perspective

Feeling Undesired

Feeling undesired in a long-term relationship is a common issue that many couples face. If you’re reading this, chances are you can relate to this feeling. But don’t worry; you’re not alone, and there is hope. As the Mother of Sex Coaching, I’ve helped many couples reignite the spark in their relationship. 


In this blog post, I’ll share my perspective on how to address feeling undesired at home. This is based on an anonymous question I recently received from a woman feeling incredibly guilty after having an affair in an attempt to feel desirable once again.


Long-term lovers and the challenges that come with it


Being in a long-term relationship comes with its own set of challenges, including maintaining a home, raising children, and managing finances. These responsibilities can take a toll on a person’s emotional and physical well-being, impacting their sexual desire. If you’re feeling undesired at home, it may be worth exploring whether your partner is struggling with stress, depression, or anxiety. A conversation that comes from a place of understanding and support can help you get to the root of the problem.


Attractiveness: It’s not all about looks


It’s easy to believe that feeling undesired at home means you’re no longer attractive. But that’s not necessarily true. Attractiveness is not just about looks; it’s about confidence, energy, and vitality. If you’re feeling down about yourself, take some time to focus on self-care activities that make you feel good, such as exercise or a relaxing bath. Confidence is sexy, and the more you feel good about yourself, the more your partner will be attracted to you.


Porn Discovery: What it may mean


If you’ve discovered that your partner is consuming pornography, it’s understandable to feel upset and hurt. However, it’s essential to understand that pornography does not necessarily mean your partner is no longer attracted to you. Pornography can be a way for individuals to release sexual tension or relieve stress. But if it’s causing a rift in your relationship, having an open and honest conversation with your partner about your feelings and concerns is essential.


Your Affair: What it may reveal


Having an affair is not the solution to feeling undesired at home. However, it can be an opportunity to reflect on your feelings and what you want from your relationship. If your affair has shown you that you’re still desirable, use that knowledge to reignite the spark with your partner. An affair can also be a chance to be honest with yourself and your partner about what you need to feel loved and desired.


Moving forward: How to reignite the spark


Reigniting the spark in a long-term relationship takes effort from both partners. Take some time to talk to your partner about your feelings, desires, and concerns. Be open and honest, and come from a place of support and understanding. Make time for intimacy, whether it’s through sex or other physical touch, such as holding hands or cuddling. And if the issues persist, don’t hesitate to seek help. 



Feeling undesired at home can be a challenging and painful experience. But it’s important to remember that it’s a common issue that many couples face. By focusing on self-care, having open and honest conversations, and seeking help when needed, you can reignite the spark in your relationship and feel desired once again. If you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to book a complimentary sex coaching intake with call with me right here.

Related Posts

Navigating the Dating Scene After Loss or Divorce

Navigating the Dating Scene After Loss or Divorce

Loss or divorce can leave a void in your life that feels insurmountable, and the idea of re-entering the dating scene might seem like a far-off fantasy—or perhaps even an unwelcome hassle. But if you’ve reached a point where you’re considering putting yourself back out there, that’s already a brave…
Sexual Positions for Aging Bodies

Sexual Positions for Aging Bodies

Are you looking to maintain the sizzle in your romantic life but find that some of the old moves just aren’t as comfortable as they used to be? You’re not alone! As we gracefully enter our golden years, our bodies may demand some adjustments in our sexual practices. But that…
Morning Rituals to Kick Start Your Day with Love

Morning Rituals to Kick Start Your Day with Love

Do you ever feel that your mornings are a blur of rushing around, trying to get out the door? Let’s change that! Starting your day with a few simple, love-filled rituals can set a positive tone for the rest of your day. I’m Dr. Patti Britton, Mother of Sex Coaching,…