If the constant barrage of “bad news” about war is getting you down for sex, read on. In these difficult times, many couples are feeling pressured to be sexual when all they really want to do is curl up in little balls, be held or just nod off to sleep. Depressive feelings are common during times of such global duress.
Whichever way you are leaning, it’s okay. Be at peace with yourself. Know that some people react to stress and threat of our very lives by feeling more sexual, desire more frequent sex as escape or to feel more closeness with a partner. Others are in that mode of “shut down” from lack of interest, energy or ability to relax in a waking state. If you find yourself in a state of constant anxiety or long for ways to feel more peaceful, here are some ideas for you:
1. Set aside ten minutes each day to focus on what makes you feel at peace. Maybe it’s a walk in the woods or the garden, listening to a meditation tape or relaxing music on a CD or on your iPod from the iTunes store.
2. Spend at least five minutes a day in touch. You can rub the back of a cat, sensually caress your beloved’s face or masturbate to your heart’s delight. But make sure that you allow touch on your own body (or through the exchange of touch) each day.
3. Focus on pleasure. Find simple daily pleasures to make you feel good, inside and out. Maybe you hire a masseuse to give you a Swedish massage or you eat a whole hot fudge sundae (consciously, though, not as an escape or self punishment); use your time and indulge your senses wisely and fully to feel pleasure.
4. Get in touch with your spiritual side. If it’s going to temple, church or prayer, or activating your practice of yoga, open yourself to the divine aspects of life itself. During these trying times a connection with the Infinite Energy Source, call it God, G-D, Allah, Mohammed, White Feather, Higher Power, or whatever, will help you weather the storms of peril of wartime threat and destruction. If only our universal prayers could help to end this, all would be better, indeed.
I send blessings to those who are in the fight and may they all hurry home and may all wars end soon.