I know. You’re wondering, “How am I going to get the woman of my dreams to want me?” Such a great question. And the answer is really up to you! I always get asked by the shy or lonely guys to coach them on what they can do– or be– to get the girl. And the way I direct them is to get them to make some fundamental changes in the way they think, look, talk and move. For example, one 40-year-old single male that I coached used to think that porn teaches you how to talk to a prospective female lover. I don’t think so! In my view, porn teaches you a lot of great things, like different positions, what different men’s equipment looks like and how it works; and well, of course, what women look like with their clothes off, all of their clothes. Naked-to-the-bone women don’t necessarily find it appealing or attractive for you to talk to them like a porn pro. In fact, many women tell me that the more sensitive a guy is, like being a good listener, or taking time to please her first, is what makes her want him even more.
Here are some ideas for you to try on (and do let me know how they work for you).
1) Good hygiene: Maybe it seems like a no-brainer, but surprisingly little things you can do to sharpen your breath and brighten your smile do work. These include things like brushing your teeth before a date or after a smoke; speaking of which, giving up cigarettes is highly recommended, as smoking kills your breath, makes your teeth and fingers yellow, and ruins your chances for a good erection over the long term. Rinsing your mouth out after slugging down a six pack of beers, getting regular dental cleanings, and even trying some of those whitening gels help, too. All of these commonsensical things help your mouth and breath to be more appealing for a kiss. And, most ladies tell me, kissing is the primary way they get (and stay) turned on to their guy.
2) Good and well groomed hair: Here’s another obvious one. But although a balding eagle may be what she coos over on the nature channel, not so with her man. There are just so many ways to comb a lock of hair, if one is all you have. I happen to think that bald is sexy and so do millions of other women. But that’s all-bald with good grooming to boot. There are so many options today to add hair to your scalp, whether it’s weaves or plugs or even the hair-growth products (that do produce the baby hair sprouts), that to not alter your pate is silly. Then again, there are many women who like their man ‘au natural.’ Those women will tell you that whatever you do with the little you have, keep it washed, styled to accentuate your good features, and talk to her about your facial hair. Many women find that beard, goatee or mustache to be, well, a sexy look. Then again, when you put your face down on her private parts, those bristles can hurt and stop her chances for a good orgasm if she’s wincing between her legs. Ouch is not an aphrodisiac to most women. Keeping well-groomed is a plus for sex appeal for most guys, whatever style you sport.
3) Fit body: That paunchy belly, those drooping pants thanks to the gut that keeps the waistband from closing, or those love handles around your middle are not very sexy to most women. That doesn’t mean that women don’t like a huggable guy. Most do. But being in a fit body goes a long way to being and staying attractive to the opposite sex. Find a health workout that you can keep. If you are prone to sitting at a desk or in the car for long hours, you especially need to get active in the physical department. I am a big fan of health clubs and gyms. Doing a regular exercise program will get you the desired results, if it’s weight loss, toning or even muscle-building that you dream about for your body. Even walking instead of turning the key in your ignition to pick up some snacks at the local store is a better option to getting fit.
4) Smooth opening lines: Remember about that porn talk? Well, finding the right words to allure Ms. Right can go a long way to getting her attention. I once worked with a client who hung out in bookstores, hoping to speak to any pretty woman who was in the book café. He never learned how to talk to anyone without striking out before he ever began. Find how to turn your talking into showing your interest in her. For example, ask her what’s she’s reading, like “That looks like a great book. Did you read his other novels?” Say things about what you notice about her, such as “You have such a lovely smile.” Or acknowledge what’s going on around you. In a sports bar, you could say, “Hey, how ‘bout those Trojans! Are you a fan, too?” Use your mouth to make a verbal connection and you’ll be happy to find that sooner than later you’ll be connecting in more than merely words.
5) Pheromones/scents: There’s a lot of bogus science out there —with pills and potions promising to make you a bigger penis, get you horny or win the love lottery. I am not lying when I tell you that some products work, such as scientifically developed pheromone-based perfumes. I am the sponsor of one brand that has been highly tested and authenticated in the laboratory. If you apply a dab of this type of perfume to your ears or wrists, you can attract women by wearing its scent. Your own scent, (assuming it’s not because you’ve just played football for four hours and forgot to shower before picking her up for a drink,) can allure women, too. The primal nature of your biological smell can be the reason that someone wants to get close to you. Good grooming aside, the animalistic scents of your human self can be the aphrodisiac you’ve been searching for.
6) Good listener: Just as with effective opening lines, being a good listener can be the best lubricant for conversation that leads to time in the sack. Being a good listener puts the attention on her and what’s she is saying. Here’s a good way to show her you are tuned in: Show her how well you listen by repeating back to her in your own words, what she just said. For example, she may say this to you, with a bitchy complaining kind of whine, “Hey, Paul, I feel like we just stay in and watch TV all the time. I hate that. Are we ever going to see a movie that isn’t a rerun on this thing?” And you say nicely and sweetly back to her, “Gee, Sue, it seems like you think that we need to spend more time going out, like my taking you to a movie once in a while. Did I get that right?” She’ll then smile. You’ll then put your arms around her and grab the remote to look for a better TV show right there in your living room with a happier sweetheart at your side. Get it? Say back to her what you hear, use your own language to assure her you really were listening, not just being a smart-ass parrot, then acknowledge what she wants to hear.
7) Good loving skills (sexual positions): Now that you’ve corrected all the mistakes you have made in how you speak to her, are looking better in public, and have figured out how to get her to pay attention to you as a stranger, you’re ready for the last way to be very attractive to her. That’s how to be a great lover, which consists of knowing more than the basics in sexual positions. If you thought that missionary is the only way to fly, you’re about to be shocked. In case you didn’t know it, the Kama Sutra teaches that there are more than 50 different positions for making love, having sex, or effing her brains out. I mean it. You can do it sitting down, standing, kneeling or lying down, so learn how to do it at least ten different ways to keep her happy and interested in you as a lover. Maybe you want to try standing up with her legs wrapped around your middle (after those love handles have turned into strong muscles), kissing her lips, penetrating her vagina with your rod. You can then thrust with one leg up on a stool beside the bed, or while you’re standing on a mountainside or on the back deck, out of view of the neighbors of course, unless public sex turns her on. Then you’ll want to learn how to get her to trust you enough to kneel facing away from you, while you are also kneeling, penetrating her from behind; this position gives you room to tickle her clit to get her off and to leave her begging for more. Or, maybe you like just spooning, lying side to side, facing her front-to-back, and while inside her you can caress her breasts and fondle her anywhere you choose.
Now that you’ve mastered these seven ways, you’re going to have to get a bigger calendar book, or a faster PDA, to schedule in more time with your women. I promise you!
Original article #3:
On Being Attractive
By Dr. Patti Britton