This is an article from Your Sex Coach Express 2003.
How about Erotic Role Play for amping up your chances for eroticism to flourish?
What are some steps you can follow?
These are some ideas and guidelines that I share with my clients:
1) Select a persona you want to play. I always think that if you can come up with a persona, like a school girl, or principal (back to school themes again), or a minister or a bar floozy, it’s going to be easier than slipping out of the everyday you into someone else. Whatever it is that may pique your intrigue to act it out, then choose one persona and find a compatible counterpart. For example, you may want to play cowboy and barmaid. Or student and teacher. And, there will have to be a reason (you get to make this up, too) why there is a power struggle between you two, such as a naughty schoolgirl is being punished or admonished by the angry teacher or principal for being late to school again. Spanking time perhaps? Or a Wild West scene could happen in which the handsome cowboy doesn’t pay up at the bar and Miss Jane seduces him to pay her in her own way. Get it yet?
2) Decide on your roles. Who is the good one? Who’s the bad girl or boy? Who is the one who’s been naughty (or bad or caught in the act) and who will offer a punishment (this can be silly, fun, light or heavy, verbal and/or physical, depending on how you want to play with this erotic scene.)
3) Choose the scene. What exactly are you going to pretend has happened and how will the scene work? For example, if you are a barmaid, Mr. Tough Guy cowhand may have just walked into the bar where you are standing in your low-cut dress waving a beer glass at him or offering him a (paid) dance with you. Make it fun, use the environment around you, get inventive and even add props as much as you can to spark the reality potential of this scene.
4) Decide what you want from this play act. What are your outcome goals? Do you want more intimacy? Adding fun to your existing romance? Escape? Sensual pleasure expansion from new and different sensations? Exploring dominance/submission? Rehearsal for something else? A chance to be wild and crazy in an ongoing relationship? Testing the boundaries of a new one? You get to choose and share it with your partner before you play.
5) Set it up in advance: set the time, day, date, place and length of time you want to play in this scene. You can even write a script or talking/playing points you want to cover in advance. For your erotic pleasure watch out that you don’t use up all the excitement in advance. Too much planning may cause you to lose the erotic tension during the playing itself. But do be clear on how much time you’ll allow for this play time, where it will happen, remove all obstacles and interruptions, and pave the way for unfettered playtime without distractions or abrupt reasons to stop it.
6) Play it up to the hilt. Get costumes, hair, make-up, props galore to make it as real and fun as possible. You may want to visit a sex shop that has erotic costuming (you know the ones with holes in all the strategic places, or a leather bustier, or a vinyl dress or whips, cuffs, etc.) If you cannot find one, visit some online, like at our store, Intimate Treasures.
7) Finally, before you enter the playtime, be absolutely clear on your rules of the game. I always coach clients to set Green, Yellow and Red Light rules. Green for okay or go; Yellow for caution or not sure; and Red for no way. And, like any good game, have a “safe” word, not “NO” or “STOP” that really is your way to signal your partner that this is going too far and to stop. I remember once a client choosing “spaghetti” as their safe word, although if you are role-playing in an Italian restaurant or replicating old Westerns, choose another term. Select one which you do not expect to use in the scene or while you are acting out the play you have designed.
8) Here are some other suggestions for roles:
a. School authority—student;
b. Daddy—little girl or boy;
c. Prison guard or warden—prisoner;
d. Drill instructor or captor—soldier.
Now you make up your own list and get cracking!
9) Here is one example of some things you’ll need to address in a school role play:
Name: a. Mr. Smith and Mary Sue Hines
Place: Principal’s office; at his desk
Props: Wooden ruler; his desk and a wood chair; etc.
Costumes: Mr. Smith wears a business suit with a tie, no jacket. Hard soled shoes that tie with black socks; he is freshly shaved and groomed. Mary Sue wears a short plaid skirt just under or above the knees; bobby sox and saddle shoes or loafers; a crisp-white button-down blouse; a tight push-up or no bra; high cut or thong panties or no panties; or patent leather heels, very high; she may have on a slip under the skirt.
You get the idea now, don’t you?
Set up: Choose an environment that allows you to “feel” that principal’s office-in-school effect. Make sure you have a desk and chair handy. Set up about 45 minutes minimally to play. Decide what outcome you are seeking…just to have fun, intimacy enhancer or foreplay. Choose a scenario, such as Mary Sue has been chronically late these past few weeks and Mr. Smith is about to punish her for not obeying the rules.
By the way, this may lead to a very hot sexual encounter. That’s fine. Even great, if that’s your intention.
Have fun, be safe and explore your erotic roles til the cows come home. If you don’t have cows, imagine…that’s the point!
PS: I just found a new book on erotic role play, Fantasy Made Flesh. Check it out at amazon. It looks great!